I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
