If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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