Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
