Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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