It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
