I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
