i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
