If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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