I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
