...so i touched it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
