you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
