just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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