Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
MIDGETS
????
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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