Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
