A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
