I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
