i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
