I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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