you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
