Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
