just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
