Your face is a jimmy john
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
