u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
