I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
