Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
