Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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