I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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