too bad you live with your parents still
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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