i don't like sucking hair
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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