Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
