ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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