girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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