You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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