That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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