i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
