Nicole vs. Life
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
