Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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