My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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