a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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