I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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