y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
