Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Acid is not a monday night drug
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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