did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
