So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
