How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
