my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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