2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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