Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
