Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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