grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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